Hey love, i won't be there anymore
Dont know whether you even remember my name
Remember not to cry love, it never was your fault
I only got myself to blame.

MARISSA❤

This site is 100% copyright. ;D

Hey guys, my name is Marissa, also known as Marvin, if you get the inside joke. Anyway, This blog is only meant for the sake of my feelings, so if you too aren't happy with life or if you think that I am too emo for your own good, kindly press the little red button at the corner of your screen.

14 this year;SchoolOfTheArts.

designer DancingSheep
resources + + + +

Weekends he's a wall,
Weekdays he's her pain,
and nothing she says
can bring him back again
She cries her hardest,
she thinks maybe he'll hear her,
She doesn't realise
every fight will push him further
She's staring at the mirror,
cursing at her reflection,
saying "Fuck you,
you're nowhere near perfection.
You think these things will happen,
but they just DON'T,
Now go do your work and
stop staring at your phone."
She's trying to stop the voices in her head,
Screw this, screw the world,
I'd be better off dead
And everything he had said,
and everything he had done
all added up to his love equals none
his voice was heaven,
but fucking hell, it sure hurt
and the fact he was the sweetest,
it still offered no comfort
She's looking at the back of his head,
wondering where she went wrong
Mumbling to herself, "I gotta be strong"
He has a choice,
He already has his new best friend,
She puts the gun to her head
screams "die Marissa" and,

I've always wanted to find a shell
that would sing me the ocean's song.

I've always wanted to make a wish
that would prove my nightmares wrong.

I've always wanted to escape this hole
and live in God's embrace.

I've always wanted to meet Lady Luck
and touch her smoothened face.

I've always wanted to hold your hand
to make my dreams come true.

I've always wanted to,
I've always wanted to.

I've always wanted what i can't have.

"Hey, mummy. For the past few years, I have been wondering. Why am I like this? What is happening to me now?
I have been thinking about it and I think I know why is it that I'm so out of touch and so.. not what you want me to be. Laziness and low self-esteem. I usually get very put off by criticism, and even the simplest obstacle really stops me from trying again.
You always say to me: 'Why can't be you be like other children?' I'm sorry, mum. Stress is really building up, and I'm just tired of everything, and anything. I know you would love a daughter that is smart, hardworking and obedient and all that.

I'm sorry that I've hurt you by doing this.

But I really, really just want to run away from it all. I can't live up to everybody's expectations. Tell every single person that done me wrong, 'I forgive you.'. Tell those that loved me, 'Thank you.'.

And to you, and daddy:

I'm sorry, I love you."

-

She let out a muffled sob, and dropped the video camera that she was holding.
Rushing to the opened window, she looked down.

Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
I really hope this
letter reaches you.

My arms are dead,
My feet are too.
Will you help this jester,
Will you save this fool?

Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
I'm on my last breath,
Trying to talk to you.

But you don't hear me,
There's nothing you can do,
Until my ghost comes rushing back;
Haunting you.

I learned a new word in school today,
I found it really cool.
The meaning relates alot to me,
and maybe to you.

It means "Something or someone
that is hardly seen."
At least not the full image of it.

Only a small glimpse.
A glance.
A peek.


You're so elusive.

Boy, you're my inspiration.
And the reason for my smile,
I can't think of anything
that makes life more worthwhile.

And anybody else will know
how happy i am and more,
whenever you spend time with me
And that's just what i go to school for.

This was not my idea,
to drown in your fake personality.
Let you live in my selfish nightmare,
like some kind of superhero.
You're the falling star,
you're the getaway car.
And that's when i overcame doubts,
overcame and fell for you.
But.
If you're not real, you can't save me.
I'm not a princess, this is not a fairytale.
Like the brightest star you shine from,
re-lighten the scribbles.
I don't wanna lose you,
but i don't even own you.


--------------

Credits:
Huiyu
Kengyang
Iffa
KeJia
Nicole Anne
Gloria
Chaniece
Daniel
Kristel
Grace

You will never be able to erase your mistakes,

because you always use a permanent marker.

A knife on my wrist is like my pen on paper.

With this medium, i can create all sorts of beautiful drawings, essays and poems. With this 'pen', I can put Van Gogh to shame. I can outwrite the most amazing of authors.

I can.

Now that i have the inspiration, I will draw. Maybe when they see my art, they will start to appreciate me. They will finally accept me. I will never have to be lonely again. I will be loved.

I draw a family. I draw friends. I draw all the things i have ever wanted in this lifetime.

Finally, when my wrist is filled with the scribbles and pictures i have doodled, I will wash off the excess red ink, and continue staring at the ceiling fans with a small smile on my face.

This i will be contented with, for now.

If we should ever meet,
through the light of the brighter stars,
Give me a notebook where
I can erase our past.

I was lost in your eyes,
Stranded, they say.
Because i burned my map,
So that i have a reason to stay.

You never knew me,
I was the rubbish you threw
Though i always wanted to be
The inspiration you drew.

I hate you, because
you'd never need to feel this way.
But i love you, because
you are everything that perfection portrays.

And the children are all sleeping tonight
They don't know what's gonna happen,
What's gonna happen

Well you're my psychedelic drug,
All my wrongs feel so right
Now i wonder why i feel so empty,
feel so used up.

And i'm falling through this dark abyss
I'm tearing apart
Killing all my senses
You will be my fading hope.
And i'm trying to escape,
But death is looking for me,
You will be my apocalypse.

it's a christmas special story! :D
stay tuned.

Prince Fale was never one to fall in love.

That is, until he set his eyes on the one he thought was God-given beauty, a crystal-eyed dragon. Fale was always a dragon lover, even when he was a kid. Everytime he spotted the flying things, he would try to catch and keep them, though they were a hundred times bigger than him.

The crystal-eyed dragon heaved a fiery breath, and stretched its pallid, snow-white wings. Approaching cautiously, the prince tried not to alarm the mystical creature.

"Hello, you." He murmured as gently as he could.

However, the dragon showed no signs of being frightened, and allowed Fale to touch his nozzle. Thrilled that he had gained it's trust, the prince smiled and stroked the soft hair again.

"Miranda," he whispered, "That will be your name."

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Many years passed, and Prince Fale was very contented with his life. The only problem was, other countries heard of his new pet, and have tried to steal it from him. Try as he might, he could not get used to the disturbances and his armies were greatly affected by the constant invasion.

Finally, when he could not take it anymore, he ordered his men: "Burn the bridges and destroy the roads, for when living with a soul so beautiful and true, i have no need of anything else."

So the men did as they were told. More years passed, but this time, nothing happened.

------------------------------------------------------------------

One day, Prince Fale awoke from on top of the highest room in his palace. "Miranda!" The first name that came to his head.

The corridors were silent.

"Miranda..?"

Sensing that something was amiss, he got out of his king-sized bed and walked along the halls. That's funny, he was usually woken up in the mornings by the wails of his pet. Today, nothing much as a squeak was heard.

The prince started to panic. Frantically, he searched every nook and cranny possible to find his beloved creature.

Suddenly, the realization hit him.

Miranda had gone. It had flown away into the skies, leaving him.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

It can't be.

After all these years, the love and care, gone to waste.
He had blocked out those unnecessary things, just to tend to his dragon.

It looks like i need them now.

However, damage as been done, and there were no more bridges or roads to lead to the outside world, which he had abandoned so long ago. He had even sacked his men and armies, convinced that the invasion will not happen anymore.

His friends. Other dragons. How can he ever enjoy these gifts again?


I'm all alone.

Everywhere i go, i see many rich business men and women. Successful, and maybe living in huge private houses and mansions. These people enjoy their lives, and are able to buy things that match their every whim and fancy.

There are those, that are not as rich. Those, average ones. Daily life for them is simple and not as complicated as the wealthier type. Living in flats, terraces, condos?

At least they have somewhere to stay.

Beggars and homeless people on the streets, they don't have their own private house or whatever wished-for things.

Everytime i see yet another old woman or crippled being, i feel guilty, about complaining about how miserable my life is and comparing myself to others richer than me.

This is also a question of Retributive Justice. What i have learnt in school. These people would not have ended up like this if they had worked hard in the past.

You reap what you sow.

That is what teachers tell us every now and then.

I wish i could do something to help these poor people. But do they want our help? and if so, how would we know if they really are what they seem?

Some people pretend to be beggars and plead for money!

To think i can do nothing about this.

I never wanted to,
Sorry love but
i don't believe in you anymore.

You've got to tell me, love.
Because this feeling is too much.
Am i right?
Am i wrong?
to think of this with such
paranoia.
uncertainty.
My mind is in a rush.

"humans."

This was the word they used to call those creatures. The ones that invade our homes and steal away our loved ones.

Humans.

I myself, dislike those weird things. I am a turtle. My kind has beautiful shells on our backs and award-winning flippers to help us dig in the sand. This is normal. But those 'Humans' have strange, long flesh with protruding joints instead. They do not look a bit like us at all!

Til today, i have never wanted to associate myself with these abnormal beings.

Today, i will save the entire turtle population.

These ugly creatures have been taking our eggs, polluting the vast, blue blanket that we live in, and most of all, killing us.
Yes, just a few days ago, my mother was murdered by these 'Humans'. They cut off her limbs, one by one. They sawed off her majestic shell, slowly. Painfully. Pure torture.

All these while she was still alive.

It was heart wrenching to hear her screams. I am still haunted by her dying voice til this very day.

I prepare myself for the task ahead. My revenge.

Up upon the shore nearby, i spot many caught turtles, struggling to get back to the ocean. The 'Humans' have tied them with a rope of some kind.

Today, i will swim right up to the shore and stop this madness. I will bite the 'Humans', and cut the rope with my pointed mouth. The rest of the turtles will then be freed.
I will save them.

Reaching the hot, golden sand, i hear a voice.


"Here's another one! Get ready the saw!"



Sorry, mother.

hello people!
DID YOU MISS MEE? :D
sorry haven't been posting for soooo long yeahz.
i shall spam this blorg with new poems!

maybe i shall try short stories,
since i really can't find the time and the creativity to rhyme so much.
wheeeeee. :D
good bye!

a kiss, a hug.
we're so in love
our eyes as bright as
the stars above

your hand so close
and locked in mine
our hearts, they meet
and intertwine.

"i love you" you say
and i repeat,
burning nerves;
from head to feet.

and then i... wait.
what the hell is this?
i jumped up of bed
with a wheeze


wtf. i was dreaming.

I was in the library,

"i want to be a tree" said the bush,
as it sat in the corner of the empty garden.
"i want to bear fruit, i want to bloom flowers;
the most beautiful thing on earth."

The little bird nearby twittered and said, "you don't have to!"
the bush was confused. "Why not?"

"You are beautiful enough, for with branches so thick, and patterns so intricate; you have always been the prettiest to me."

I cant be who you want me to;

Tonight we will be in love,
This feels so wrong but yet so right.
I call your name, do you hear me?
Your eyes are filled with a blazing light

Your lips so soft, so kissable
Your tears, they burn, unhealable.
I will be your night, your sky,
So i beg you love, please dont cry.

It's like learning a guitar;

I've learnt the chords to the song i've always wanted to play. I've tried to learn the chords for 1 week straight. But my attention span is minimal; I am now tired of the song. I listen to it over and over again, til the melody of the tune actually hurt my ears.

But then, what can i do? I've done what i had wanted to a week ago: Learn my A, B, Em and so on. It has all gone to waste. I no longer had any want for the song.

Searching in my closets, i find a violin.

...

It's like learning a violin;


____________________________________________________________


This rose,
It is my rose.
my rose.
my plant.
my flower.

So why does my own rose hurt me so with its dreaded thorns?

...

No, this is not a rose.

It is simply an illusion of an allamanda and one's much-too-high expectations.

I awoke from a dream.

The story is yet to unfold.

Free the heart,
Release the autumn leaves;
.
.
.
From where they fall.

*

We have withered,
To find that
.
.
.
We are born again.

*

This love be not the same?

Baby, what's wrong?
You left me all alone
standing in the rain
chilly to the bone

You're insecure
You're not a friend
You pushed me away
again and again

You ignore me,
threaten me,
People ask what is it
in you i see

I hate you
I hate you
I love you
I love you

What's the point of these dreams
when i know they'll never come true?
You'll never be my love
or my baby too

Took numbing pills
in large doses
when you left me holding
these 19 roses.

The previous post was the 28th,
The date of Shark's birthday
But it's not like im thinking back
I dont have anything to say;

seriously.

I'll be devastated,
Should anything happen to you.
And i will be upset
If misery gets you too.

iloveyou;##

We sing the same tune to a different song;
In a way, this isn't right.
The million voices screaming in my head,
Every single one yell the same thing:
You are too perfect for me.

My love,
It's just confusion.
Don't worry.
I shall be your illusion.

Everytime you wave me away,
I felt that i no longer had you;
The chance is fading,
Were you guilty too?

The lines of doubt
spread across your eyes
Annoyance;
ignorance,
Severe the ties.

It's only been a day and i already miss you,
And i thought that i would never fall for you;

One day i would give you a gift
And the note attached would say:
"You were the guy that i had liked
from the beginning of May."

But yet, im afraid .
You shocked;
Disgusted.
Me ashamed;
hurt.

Hey, look what you've done.
You've made me fall in love.

HTTP://THIS-SCARRED-LETTER.BLOGSPOT.COM

HAS STARTED UP AGAIN.

FORGET THAT THIS BLOG WAS EVER CLOSED.

Lost from sight; i miss you.

i was hoping so much
that i wouldn't post here again
Yet, it looks like i have no more choice
but to still relive my pain.

I broke my promise to myself,
Can't believe my life's like this;
But i'm just too tired to elaborate further
knowing that its that other who i miss.

This wasn't what im asking for
How can it hurt so much?
Fate has left us here to mourn
with just that single touch

I finally known something that just wasn't right
the day you betrayed my friends
Of all the times i wished for you
To hold these unworthy hands

When i saw your true colors
They were a mix of black and grey,
like stormy clouds that approached my life
and still are here to stay.

That whole month, my mind was a blur
i really couldn't think straight
First upset and then depressed-
i simply couldn't hate.

But then came along, a sudden realization,
what i wanted all along
I didnt notice him till now
It seems my feelings were wrong

But there's just one gigantic problem:
Which will never be revealed here(:
I'll just close my eyes and keep to myself,
confined by my own tears.

So let's set the Shark free on its own
and let the other in,
Shark's grasp on me has withered and died,
Loving him might be a sin.

This shall be the last post for now;
cos' this blog is meant to be
for the pain and memories i sown on to it
when love had its curse on me.

Like heroin, it numbs
The pain is never felt
open my bloodshot eyes
and watch reality melt

I'm lost in this illusion,
Dreams coming from the bed
Stop haunting me,being always there
Please get out of my head

Broken up, we're far apart
Our hearts scream in unison
At the brink of insanity,
Our minds cant stand the tension

Lost in each other's world
No point of secrecy
At the end,we are found
Begging for sweet mercy

The lovers in the night
They want to last forever
Dreading every moment
they have without each other

Each time the couples fight
Their bonds are slightly cut
Some are simply too tired
and long for both to part

My friends, they complain:
My boyfriend is a mess!
He doesn't treat me right at all
Staying single is the best!

And soon the next day,
broken hearts fill the scene
Souls wander away
Not knowing what love means

But they don't know anything
how lucky that they are
They had love and a fulfilled heart,
While the road to mine is still quite far

You better cherish him
And never let him go
There are people who're not so lucky
that travel their lives alone

As for me, im one of them
Those lost and never found
Those who disappeared away
without a wanted sound

So count your stars and keep your lover
No chance to go to waste
While others ponder about this 'love'
which they havent got to taste

The holidays are here,
won't be seeing you soon
I only know that we'll be looking
At the same moon.

While you're laughing and
enjoying yourself with her,
i'll be sitting at home
and just looking at your picture

Surely i'm not spending the time
together with you
You will be too busy
doing the things that you should do

like:
taking her for long walks
and going to the movies.
And i'll be busy thinking about
the person that i miss

Don't worry i'll be okay
Even if you think im not
It's just that your girl is simply
Everything That I'm Not.

Baby, what could have been
Is what will never be.
We had the chance, now it's lost,
We're broken, can't you see?

The lame may walk,
The dumb may speak,
But our souls will never be connected
When it's love that we seek

You don't have to say you're sorry
Or even complain to her
My broken heart will never be the same
It will stay wounded forever.

What are you doing to me?
Still stuck in my head
Why am i stressed so much
When i know that you're not my fate?

I'm walking down the wrong path
With despair as company
My life is stained throughout with
The darkened symphony

I've been waiting for the day
that will never come true
The day that i will be united
together with you.

But then instead, my mind's a mess
i really can't seem to think straight
Just confused with what i feel;
is this Love or is this Hate?

No inspiration for my work,
i can't concentrate at all
My teachers scold me every time,
Kicking me when i fall.

You may not know it but
you are the cause of this confusion
My thoughts of you disrupt my work
You are my delusion

This is not just a poem,
this is how i feel
Don't blink in disbelief,
You know my pain is real.

With broken wings
i guide the souls
the spirits sing
of their unwanted roles

This neglected cut
becomes and abrasion
compared to the heart,
it does the invasion

Our bleeding lives
we are the outcasts
as death arrives
our crazed mind rusts

The darkened shadows
steal our space
with feelings so shallow;
their hollowed face

These chains, they bind
forgotten memories
leave them behind
ignore the injuries

I want to forget
the hardened past
the misery shared
who'd knew it last?

With stinging tears
and grieving shudders
we relive our fears
trapped in the gutters

When mercy comes
and washes our sins
it screams the psalms
with demonic hints

Hold my hand,
believe in me
with you i'll stand
Now that we're free.

Death is merely
just an option
Life is a moment
When we must learn

that love is only
a selfish word
that gives us pleasure
yet it hurt.

This pair of scissors;
break the bonds,
Freeze the fire and
Destroy the thorns

It's been a long month,
Your heart is weighed
you cant tell the difference
between love and hate

This crown of misery
bestowed onto you
The sweeping shadows
made as your hue

Curse that blesses,
but grants suffering
Hear these shallow whispers
of that i sing

Death is merely
just an option,
Life is a moment
When we must learn.

Baby Jesus,
love so sweet,
touch that amazes
a little kid

I'm on my knees,
begging you please;
Don't you take him
away from me.

Sitting in your corner,
one is friend deprived,
Ravens screech a loner's song
To touch your pointless life.

The people pass,
Ignorance raised,
You turned to them
with a posioned gaze

The reason she gave
was not enough;
You wanted love,
not feelings so rough.

____________________________

Staring out the window,
one has abandoned care,
raindrops whip onto the glass
as i watch my heart strings tear

The flowers wither,
petals half dead,
Gloom reaches me
with unbinding hate.

I have no reason,
for me to feel life
Just wasting my time staring
at that murderous knife

____________________________

Two people in this world,
lost without a name
Think real hard and then you'll know
that we are just the same

Even though we're broken,
our lives a different tone,
I'll let you know baby,
that you are not alone.

Your feelings' a mess
your hopes are shot down too.
But just remember me
Baby, i'm with you.

Sat with you in the bus today,
just wanted to talk to you
And when we saw each other, i thought
that you had wanted to chat too

But when i came, friend alongside,
You took the chance to say:
"I'm going out, it's getting boring":
That sentence ruined my day.

Coming home from school that night,
i saw your name in my MSN list
Then a quote, message of the day,
It really made me pissed

"the sixth of may is the day,
the day i found my love"
Congratulations on finding her
and tearing my heart's weakened nerves.

I'm trying to find a way
To forget your recurring face
But still, your voice, its haunting me
like the ghosts of the darkened lace

This lace, it binds me,
with heart wrenching pain,
Wont you please, take them away
remove these dreaded chains?

I'm feeling lonely
No one to be with
Even you are not here
No reason to live;

My friends, they desert me
to pursue their hopeless dreams
And find their desired loved ones
that match their every whim

i have no inspiration to write now. =\

Hey love, i think im bleeding
I'm feeling numb now,
Can't hear my breathing
See you kneeling beside me
Shedding guilty tears
My vision's in darkness,
Embracing my darkest fears

Even though i said
that i lived only for you,
You still took my heart
And then what did you do?

You broke the fragile thing,
Shattered hopes and forgotten dreams
Vanishing before my eyes
I guess your love isn't what it seems

"I don't love you anymore"
Was that what you said?
Well, let me ask one thing of you
Before these feelings fade:

Without your love,
i won't cry;
Without your love,
i would DIE.

And now, guess what?
i'm halfway there.
These wounds can't heal,
though i doubt you'll even care

So long, love,
Good luck with that whore.
Sorry dear but,
I won't be there anymore.

Dear love;

I'm sorry i'm not going
to see you off later today
i'm walking home alone,
not going to watch you play.

I just need some time
to be with myself,
just need to think things over, like:
You and that Someone else.

i wonder why my heart
is aching because of this.
Why my plastered wounds
are rubbed with this salted kiss.

When i heard the dreaded news,
my paperheart ripped in two
How could you do this to it
when it only beat for you?

I'm sorry that i thought
i even had a chance,
I'm sorry that i fell in love
without the simplest sense

I gave you everything,
You were my life
But now that you've gone,
The joy is yet to arrive.

A few days ago,
i grasped that sharp blade
And saw on my wrist
The carvings that it made

Those lines reminded me
about the heartache that you gave,
about the tears that i shed
When i remembered your face.

Just bleeding my sorrows
onto this scarred letter,
Just trying to let you know
The memories are here forever.

JUST SAYING:

I'm still waiting for that someone
to free me from this pain
Sorry love, it won't be you,
not ever again.

hey readers.
Been getting abit depressed lately.

the next poem will be about this
REALLY sad thing in my life.

Hope you like my previous ones though (;

have a super nice day loves. <3

I walk this path
of forgotten souls,
to chase the devil's cat;
my heart it stole.

I run this road
of broken lies,
to visit the ghosts
and hear their cries.

I swam through the darkness
where your body laid,
and dug out your grave,
with flesh decayed.

One step forward,
See her weep!
See the chains hanging from her hip!

Two steps forward,
See her tears pour!
As she stumbles cross the dirty floor!

Another step forward,
See her cry!
When she know's she's going to die!

She stops, she hesitates,
She glances at the noose.
The crowd goes wild,
"There's not a moment to lose!"

A final step forward,
She prays to God
to grant her paradise
after the battle she fought.

She puts her head
through the loop and BAM!
we have witnessed the death
of Emily Stamp.

I SWEAR:
i will love you till the end of my days,
i will need you like i need to breathe,
you'll always have me, i'll never stray,
This bond between us will never fray.
My heart will beat only for you
With this vow, i will stay true.
But if i should ever break this "curse",
Please do the steps on the following verse:

Love another,
Rip out my heart.
Checking out another,
Gorge my eyes out.
Kiss another,
Tear apart my lips.
Till i treat that other
like a passing ship.

This is the promise i must keep,
Now the tea from this dreaded cup i sip.

Your eyes, they twinkle,
the darkest star
Your hair, it sways
like unwounding tar

Til the time of that fateful hour,
the residue of your blood remain
A rose; it's thorns, a withered flower
Will we ever be saved again?

I give you my lungs,
so you can breathe
I give you my soul,
So you can live

I give you my heart,
So that you can love too,
Now can't you see
what i'm doing for you?

Hey loves,

This blog is just to post my poems.
Im just an amateur (;
No criticism please,
i'm just doing this for the sake of my feelings.